


Help I'm Alive

by libbertyjibbit



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Pain, Post-Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:55:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22593643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/libbertyjibbit/pseuds/libbertyjibbit
Summary: The end of the world is very loud.
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	Help I'm Alive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nemainofthewater](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nemainofthewater/gifts).



The end of the world is very loud.

Martin doesn't seem to notice. He won't go outside and he doesn't sleep much anymore, but if he has the same constant cacophony roaring in his head that Jon does, he shows no sign of it. This should make sense, Jon knows, but he can't remember why. There's no longer any room in his head for his own thoughts; putting things together is beyond him.

He hadn’t been ready. He hadn’t committed fully, hadn’t done enough to prepare himself for what was to come because he was afraid of what it would mean, what he would lose, and now he is paying the price.

It hurts, hurts worse than anything he’s ever felt before; worse even than his throat, raw and aching from the screams he's been unable to hold back. He can hear Martin's concern, his worry. It crashes through his head like an ocean wave, threatening to take Jon under. Jon turns from him without meaning to, flinches from his gentle hands and that endless, screaming concern; the helpless, senseless fear. Martin backs away; his hurt and his self-recrimination fill Jon's head and he moans, curling into himself, willing him away. 

It goes on forever and for no time at all; time is meaningless when his world has narrowed down to the pain in his head, to all the knowledge that he doesn't want and can't escape, to finally understanding what it means to be the Archivist. 

And then. Hours, days, weeks later, a pocket of blessed silence. Martin disappears; everyone disappears but the man drawing towards him. They don't matter. No one else matters but the two of them. He is for Jon, and Jon for him, and Jon knows now that is how it was always meant to be - Archivist and Observer, together. Bound.

He knew him once, in a life now long past. Knew him and held himself back from him, seeing only the manipulation, not understanding it for what it was. Hating his presence in his life, fearing the power he promised. Now, his presence feels like a cool hand on a fevered brow, a drink of water to a man dying of thirst, and Jon tucks himself into his silence with a grateful noise, closing his eyes, mind finally calm.

Gentle fingers brush his face, and Jon leans into the touch. “Please,” he whispers, and "Elias," and when the kiss comes he meets it halfway.

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a treat for chocobox 2020. I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
